Smart women in relationships know how to do this in advance

When I was scrolling through my phone late at night, I suddenly saw my best friend post on her social media: "Another night of tears for love," accompanied by a pack of tissues and half a box of ice cream. I only found out when I clicked on the chat box that she and her boyfriend were arguing over trivial matters like 'who should wash the dishes' and were about to break up. Actually, many emotions are at risk The machine has early signs, just like the signal of sub-health in the body, dear Confidential relationships will also light up yellow lights in advance.

1. Establish an emotional observation diary

1. Record daily emotional fluctuations

Prepare a small notebook specifically to record changes in both parties' emotions, without the need to write an essay, just use keywords to annotate. For example, 'I was annoyed because he was late on Tuesday night' and 'I felt inexplicably down while shopping on Saturday'. If you persist for two weeks, you will find that certain negative emotions appear like a pendulum in a regular pattern.

2. Label emotional trigger points

Specifically label the specific events that trigger emotional fluctuations The item may be the other person's expression, a catchphrase, or even a specific scene. A reader found that every time her boyfriend interrupted her at a dinner party, she would inevitably suffer from insomnia that night, and later discovered that this was a projection of childhood trauma.

3. Distinguish the Source of Emotions

Use different colors to distinguish the true source of emotions, with red for partner induced emotions, blue for work stress, and green for family origin. Three months later, looking back, a woman noticed that the red markings were decreasing - not because the relationship had improved, but because she had bottled up all her dissatisfaction as an internal injury.

2. Setting Relationship Health Indicators

1. Develop an exclusive thermometer

Design five simple questions to form a "relationship thermometer", such as "Have you hugged for more than 3 seconds today?" "Have you actively shared life details. A psychological counselor client used this method and found an abnormal decrease in communication frequency three months before her husband began to engage in cold violence.

2. Pay attention to changes in body language

70% of human information is transmitted through body language. Pay attention to whether the other person changes from speaking in front of you to sideways, and whether their palms relax when hugging. These subtle changes are more real than the three words' I love you '. Studies have shown that reducing eye contact with partners is often an early sign of deteriorating relationships.

3. Check the degree of social circle integration

Healthy relationships should have moderate social circle overlap. If you find that mutual friends always refuse to meet up for meals, or if the other person starts frequently attending gatherings without you, it may mean that they are redefining their psychological boundaries.

3. Cultivate Relationship Immunity

1. Conduct regular relationship check ups

Like regular oral examinations, choose a fixed time every month to communicate openly. Don't wait until an argument breaks out to communicate. A wife who has been married for ten years shared that they take turns saying "the last three thanks" and "a little trouble" over afternoon tea on the first Sunday of each month.

2. Establish a buffering mechanism

that specifies a pause signal when emotions are about to spiral out of control, which can be a specific gesture or word. A couple used "do you want to eat mango ice" as a ceasefire signal because their first kiss happened at a mango ice shop. This humorous code can instantly ease the tense atmosphere.

3. Maintain an independent emotional account

In addition to mutual friends, have your own emotional support system. When you gain enough emotional value at best friend gatherings or interest groups, you won't pour all the emotional pressure onto your partner. Just as investment requires risk diversification, emotions also require multidimensional support. The scariest thing in a relationship is not arguing, but the numbness like boiling a frog in warm water. Those partners who can grow old together are often not saints who never blush, but smart people who treat conflicts as vaccines for relationships. Next time you feel vaguely uneasy, don't rush to eat ice cream to vent your anger, take out your emotional thermometer first.