Secret to getting along with both sexes: Moderate 'confrontation' actually makes him unable to live without you

Have you ever noticed that those relationships that are always obedient are prone to sudden collapse? Just like a rubber band that has been stretched for too long, when it suddenly "snaps" off, there is no chance for buffering. There is an interesting paradox hidden in emotions: complete obedience may lead to the other person's habitual behavior, while just the right amount of "singing the opposite tune" becomes the secret weapon that keeps the relationship flexible.

1. Why do we need moderate confrontation?

1. Confrontation is the preservative of relationships.

Two people who are completely identical are like cans that never open, seemingly well preserved but quietly deteriorating inside. The friction caused by differences is precisely the oxidation process that keeps relationships fresh. When you argue over whether to watch science fiction or romance movies, the brain secretes more phenylethylamine, a substance that can make people feel more strongly invested in relationships.

2. Confrontation Establishing personal boundaries

Healthy confrontation is like putting a fence in your garden, neither completely blocking the other party from outside nor allowing them to trample on your territory. When you say 'I want to be alone this weekend', you are teaching the other person how to love you correctly. Couples who never blush often find it difficult to repair after a certain outburst.

2. How to grasp the scale of confrontation

1. Choose the right battlefield for confrontation

Waste energy on questions like "should toothpaste be squeezed from the middle or the bottom", just like using anti-aircraft guns to shoot mosquitoes. What is truly worth discussing are the core differences in values, such as consumer attitudes and future planning. Remember, confrontation is about solving problems, not creating them.

2. Confrontation requires coordinated actions

After saying "I disagree", remember to add "But I want to hear your thoughts". Maintain eye contact during confrontation and slow down to around 120 words per minute, which is the most easily accepted rhythm by the other party. Research shows that disputes involving physical contact (such as holding the other person's hand) can be resolved 37% faster.

III. Repair Techniques after Confrontation

1. Create Repair opportunities

After confrontation, it is recommended to do something that requires collaboration together, such as assembling furniture or playing a two player game. The sense of achievement in completing tasks together can quickly override previous negative emotions. Pay attention to the other person's' emotional barometer ', some people need a cooling off period, while others need immediate reassurance.

2. Establish a memorandum of confrontation

After each valuable confrontation, we can tacitly summarize a response plan of "if we encounter similar situations in the future, we can...". These accumulated solutions will become an emergency response plan library for your relationship. When the same problem arises again, you will become increasingly proficient in handling it.

Emotions are like dancing tango, with ups and downs to look good. Those enviable long-term relationships are not without contradictions, but have turned them into making each other closer Confidential tools. Try replacing 'why do you always do this' with' let's see the third possibility 'the next time you have a disagreement, perhaps there will be unexpected surprises. Remember, the best relationship is not about not arguing, but about being able to have supper together after an argument.