Psychology: The more you care about others, the more likely you are to be abandoned

Why do you always live so tired? Maybe because you care too much about others' opinions. People who habitually try to please others are often more likely to get hurt in interpersonal relationships. This is not a personality defect, but rather a psychological mechanism at work.

1. Psychological roots of excessive concern for others

1. Survival strategies formed in childhood

Childhood needs to gain a sense of security by pleasing parents, and this pattern will continue into adulthood. Research has found that please personality traits often have strict parents or guardians.

2. The threat warning system of the brain

When perceived as a possibility of rejection, the amygdala of the brain will issue an alarm. Overly sensitive individuals may view ordinary social interactions as potential threats.

3. External dependence on self-worth

Establishing self-worth on the recognition of others is like building a house on a beach. Any negative evaluation can trigger a chain reaction of self doubt.

2. Three Warning Signs of Overgiving

1. Always Say "First; I'm sorry;

Apologize proactively even if it's not their fault. This habitual habit will gradually make others ignore your feelings.

2. Unable to refuse any request

Afraid that rejection will damage the relationship, resulting in excessive pressure. Clinical data shows that the proportion of people with anxiety disorders in this group is 37% higher.

3. Repeatedly guessing others' thoughts

Overinterpreting others' expressions and tone consumes a lot of psychological energy. Actually, others may not have thought that much at all.

3 Key Points for Building Healthy Interpersonal Relationships

1. Practice Saying "; Not "; The courage of

starts with training in rejection from a young age, such as saying to a salesperson; No need;. The brain will gradually adapt to this new response pattern.

2. Distinguish between facts and imagination

When worrying about others' opinions, ask yourself:; Is there any conclusive evidence? " Most fears stem from brain teasers.

3. Cultivation; Courage to be Disliked "; No one can be liked by everyone. Accepting this fact can actually lead to true freedom.

4. Daily training for rebuilding self-worth

1. Record 3 advantages every day

Persist for 21 days, and the brain will form new self-awareness pathways. This is the core technique of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

2. Establish an emotional support system

to find people who can accept you without pleasing you. Quality surpasses quantity.

3. Develop independent interests and hobbies

Experience flow state in creation or sports, and this sense of achievement does not rely on external evaluation. Remember, healthy relationships do not require flattery to maintain. When you start valuing your own feelings, others will actually respect you more. This is not selfishness, but a sign of psychological maturity. Every time you set boundaries for yourself, you are rebuilding the stable castle within yourself.