Not loving others, not loving oneself

Not loving others or oneself may be a state of emotional indifference or psychological alienation, often associated with long-term repression, traumatic experiences, or depressive tendencies. The formation of such psychological states is mainly due to a lack of self-worth, damaged early attachment relationships, solidified negative thinking, weak social support systems, and untreated psychological trauma. It is recommended to gradually improve through psychological counseling, mindfulness practice, social reconstruction, and other methods.

1. Lack of self-worth

Long term denial of one's own value can lead to a decline in emotional ability, manifested as a dual indifference towards others and oneself. This group of people often have an excessive tendency towards self-criticism, attributing failures to their own shortcomings and gradually forming a defense mechanism of emotional isolation. Rebuilding self-identity requires accumulating positive feedback from small achievements and gradually breaking the cycle of negative self-awareness.

2. Impaired early attachment relationships

Poor interaction patterns with primary caregivers during childhood can affect emotional bonding abilities in adulthood. The lack of secure attachment may lead to a lack of trust in others' love and a lack of belief that one is worthy of love. By reshaping attachment relationships, treatment can improve the foundation of trust in others.

3. Persistent negative cognitive patterns can distort judgments about interpersonal relationships, leading to the belief that all emotional connections are risky or meaningless. Cognitive behavioral therapy can effectively identify automated negative thinking and view the relationship between oneself and others from a more balanced perspective.

4. Weak social support system

Long term lack of deep social interaction can gradually shrink emotional muscles, making them unwilling to actively care for others and refuse to accept external care. Participate in group psychological counseling or interest communities, and be able to re practice emotional expression in a low stress environment. 5. Unprocessed psychological trauma

Significant loss of experience or emotional harm, if not properly handled, may develop into a protective emotional freeze state. Post traumatic psychological intervention can help safely release suppressed emotions and restore normal abilities to love and be loved. Improving this state requires systematic psychological construction. It is recommended to start by cultivating sensitivity to small things and recording three things that trigger pleasure every day. Gradually increase the frequency of social contact, and initially choose low stress interactions such as animal companionship or volunteer service. Regular exercise can help improve emotional sensitivity, and exercises that combine body and mind, such as yoga or swimming, have better effects. Pay attention to supplementing foods rich in tryptophan such as bananas and oats in diet to help stabilize emotions. If there is no improvement for a long time, it is recommended to seek professional psychological support. Psychologists may recommend targeted intervention programs such as interpersonal relationship therapy or existential therapy.