Not loving anyone and not loving oneself is a mental illness

Not loving anyone or oneself may be a manifestation of psychological disorders, commonly seen in psychological problems such as depression, personality disorders, or emotional apathy. Long term lack of emotional connection may affect social functioning and needs to be evaluated based on specific manifestations. Emotional apathy or lack of the ability to love is often associated with childhood trauma, long-term depression, or neurotransmitter imbalances. Due to the lack of healthy emotional demonstration in their upbringing environment, some people gradually form an avoidant attachment pattern, manifested as alienation from others and their own emotions. Abnormal levels of dopamine and serotonin in the brain can also lead to a lack of pleasure, making it difficult for people to generate the need to love and be loved. Some personality disorder patients may actively cut off emotional experiences to avoid injury due to overactivation of defense mechanisms. In rare cases, this state may be a stage of psychological defense or value selection. Existentialist crises or philosophical beliefs may lead individuals to temporarily deny emotional values, but often accompanied by explicit rational thinking rather than functional impairment. A very small number of individuals on the high functioning autism spectrum may also exhibit emotional apathy, but the core issue lies in social cognitive impairment rather than loss of emotional abilities. The emotional transcendence achieved by special groups such as religious practitioners through training belongs to active choice, which is fundamentally different from pathological apathy. If emotional connection cannot be established for a long time and is accompanied by social withdrawal, loss of pleasure, or self denial, it is recommended to seek psychological assessment. Daily mindfulness practice can enhance self-awareness, gradually cultivate the ability to perceive small emotions, and try to establish low stress interpersonal interactions to relearn emotional response patterns from basic social interactions.