Marriage truth: Understanding this, I'm too lazy to argue anymore

While scrolling through my phone late at night, I suddenly saw my best friend post on her social media account: "After three years of marriage, I finally learned to use silence instead of arguing." The accompanying picture shows two cups of cool coffee. Is this scene inexplicably familiar? How many couples have gone from talking about everything in love to a Buddhist style pattern of 'no fight, no argument' after marriage. But don't rush to envy, this state may hide more dangerous signals than arguments.

1. Why do some couples suddenly stop arguing?

1. Emotional account overdraft is severe.

It's like a credit card that has been in arrears for a long time being frozen. When one party continues to make payments but receives no response, the balance of the emotional account will eventually return to zero. At this point, even arguing feels like a waste of energy, appearing calm on the surface but actually darkening in the heart.

2. Defense mechanism automatically activated

The brain has a god The unique function is called "emotional isolation", which will cut off emotional connections like a phone turning on airplane mode when repeatedly injured. It's not that I don't want to argue, it's that my body has activated a self-protection program.

2. Three hidden dangers behind not arguing

1. Problems are like snowballs rolling bigger and bigger

Those unresolved conflicts will not disappear, but rather become stubborn stains like oil stains in the corners of the kitchen over time. One day, the accumulated resentment may explode because someone didn't close the refrigerator door.

2. Dear The psychology theory of "emotional thermometer" suggests that moderate arguments are like a 38 ℃ low-grade fever, indicating active relationships. When the thermometer drops directly to 20 ℃, it is often not far from "clinical death".

3. Children become invisible victims

Children who grow up in a cold and violent environment either learn to suppress their emotions or become "humanoid powder kegs". They cannot understand their parents' silent game, but they will replicate this distorted communication pattern.

3. Three secrets to making arguments effective

1. Install a buffer zone for emotions

Try the "ten minute rule": when anger hits your head, take ten deep breaths on the balcony first. Wait until reason is back online before speaking up, and you will find that most arguments are unnecessary.

2. Replace the blame with a demand expression

Instead of saying "you never care about the child", it's better to say "I hope you can accompany the child to do homework on Wednesday". Just like choosing specific dishes when ordering takeout, vague complaints will only lead to more misunderstandings.