When children talk back, many parents' first reaction is' why is this child so disobedient? '. But child psychologists have found that children who dare to express different opinions often exhibit stronger independent thinking abilities in adulthood. Talking back is not the beginning of rebellion, but a signal of mental growth.
1. The growth code behind retorting
1. Language ability is leaping
When children organize language rebuttals, they are exercising logical thinking and language expression. A tracking study shows that children who frequently debate with their parents have a vocabulary 23% higher than their peers.
2. Self awareness awakens.
The declaration of "I don't want to wear this dress" marks the beginning of a child's personal aesthetic. The establishment of this self boundary is an important milestone for the soundness of one's personality.
3. Critical thinking is in its infancy.
Children who say to their parents, "Why can you stay up late? I can't," are establishing a causal relationship. This questioning spirit is precisely the embryonic form of innovative thinking.
2. 3 ways to deal with errors
1. High voltage suppression Using the phrase 'try talking back again' to suppress expression can lead children to either become timid or become more rebellious during adolescence. Psychology calls it the 'rebound effect'.
2. Emotional blackmail
Words like "talking back makes mom very sad" can make children feel guilty and may form a pleasing personality.
3. Indulgence without boundaries
will make children mistakenly believe that they can ignore any rules and affect their social adaptability.
3. Guiding Strategies for Smart Parents
1. Distinguish Attitude and Content
Ignore the tone of voice when talking back and focus on the views expressed by the child. Can you suggest a better solution if you don't agree with this arrangement? "[SEP] 2. Establishing expression rules
The boundary of" may disagree, but speak well "is important. Just like a debate game, having rules makes it more valuable.
3. Transform conflicts into teaching cases
When a child says "You also don't follow traffic rules," it's a good time for civic education. Demonstrating one's own behavior is more effective than preaching.
4. Correct way to open the back talk
1. Golden 15 second principle
After the child answers back, take a deep breath for 15 seconds before responding. This buffer period can prevent emotional reactions.
2. Using questioning instead of blaming
Questions like "What do you think is a better approach?" can turn confrontation into brainstorming.
3. Create a safe environment for expression
Regularly hold family meetings to encourage children to express their objections in a constructive way. Next time you hear your child talking back, why not smile first. There are seeds of independent thinking hidden in those seemingly rebellious words. The ultimate goal of education is not to cultivate obedient children, but to cultivate adults who can distinguish right from wrong. Providing children with space for debate is like giving them more possibilities for the future.
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