In interpersonal communication, these three types of unintentional words are the most chilling

Have you ever encountered such a situation? Although it was just a casual remark, it suddenly silenced my friend; The originally lively chat instantly cooled down due to a certain word. Language is like an invisible knife, some words may seem harmless on the surface, but they can accurately pierce the most fragile nerves of others.

1. Negative Care

1. Strike with Worry Packaging [SEP]; Do you still dare to eat ice cream with your physique? " " Wearing so little will definitely catch a cold; ——This type of discourse carries the banner of concern, but in reality implies negation. What the receiver feels is not warmth, but questioning their own judgment. psychological research has found that people who receive negative care for a long time will experience; Feeling controlled;.

2. Comparative Comfort [SEP]; What are you doing? I was even worse off back then; The essence of comfort is to crush the pain of the other person with one's own experience. Pain cannot be compared, and this response can make people feel; I don't deserve to be sad; The sense of shame. Effective empathy requires first acknowledging the reasonableness of the other party's emotions.

2. perfunctory response

1. Universal template reply

When a friend shares joy, say:; Mmm, it's pretty good; When expressing one's troubles, reply; It will be okay; This mechanical response will make the other person feel like they are chatting with AI. Neurolinguistics shows that the activity of the brain's feedback area for patterned language is 40% lower than that for personalized responses.

2. A conversation with scattered attention

swiping the phone at the same time; Uh huh. "; Dealing with it, or suddenly turning the topic to oneself. The disconnection between body language and verbal response is more hurtful than directly refusing to communicate. MIT's experiments have shown that the human brain can keenly capture attention shifts within 0.3 seconds.

III. Hypothetical Evaluation

1. Unverified Labels [SEP]; You must have stayed up late again, right; " You're just too sensitive; This type of assertive speculation is equivalent to using imagination to convict the other party. In the field of social psychology; Basic attribution error; It is pointed out that people tend to use personality rather than context to explain others' behavior.

2. Motivation Speculation [SEP]; You just want it .." " I guess you feel .." This type of mind reading communication is essentially a secondary creation of discourse. A study by the University of Cambridge shows that the accuracy of human guessing others' motives is less than 30%, but the stress response generated by the misunderstood party can last for more than 72 hours.

These words on the language thermometer; Low temperature zone; Often stemming from habitual thinking rather than malice. Try to turn negative sentences into interrogative sentences:; Will it feel cold wearing this? " Change the evaluation to observation:; You look a bit tired;. True empathy does not require complex skills, it only requires treating the other person as a living person rather than a dialogue prop. From today on, pay attention to whether there are invisible ice shards hidden in those words that are about to be spoken.