How many women live to be nannies? Husband and children can actually survive without you

Late at night, I came across a message on my social media: "After ten years of marriage, I have become the alarm clock, memo, and first aid kit for my whole family." The accompanying picture shows a packed refrigerator storage box and colorful medicine boxes. The comment section instantly exploded with countless identical wives: "My wife can't even remember the WiFi password" "Last time she had a fever of 39 degrees, her husband forgot to put the seasoning pack when cooking instant noodles for her child"...

1. Why do we always overpay for maternal love?

1. The Sweet Trap of Being Needed

When a child falls into their arms for the first time and cries out for mom, or when a husband holds a shirt and asks where the buttons are - these moments of dependence stimulate the secretion of oxytocin, and the satisfaction of "the whole world needs me" can easily make people unconsciously take on all the trivialities of life.

2. The invisible pressure of the social clock

From the ancient saying of "washing hands to make soup" to the modern chicken soup of "being a mother is strong", society's expectations for female characters have long been woven into an impenetrable web. Even supermarket advertisements are constantly reinforcing the image of an "all rounder housewife", as if not knowing how to make cartoon bento is not worthy of being a mother.

3. Misalignment and Binding of Self Value

Many people equate the efficiency of family operations with personal value, just like the aunt who wakes up at 5am every day to make soup and suddenly breaks down when her daughter orders takeout: "Do you dislike Mom. Studies have shown that women who deal with household chores for a long time have significantly thinner prefrontal cortex thickness.

2. Emotional Deficit in relationships

When a wife takes care of her husband as her "eldest son", it is most likely to experience the phenomenon of "emotional single player games" - you are crazily outputting here, but the other party has never installed a receiving program. A certain psychological counselor shared a typical case: a woman didn't realize until her divorce that her husband actually used a washing machine and just enjoyed the feeling of being nagged by her.

3. Blurring of self-awareness

In daily role-playing, many people forget that they are not only mothers or wives, but also baking enthusiasts, Latin dance students, or science fiction fans. Just like a person who always wears an apron, one day changing back into a dress will make them feel uncomfortable all over.

3. Redefine the boundaries of family responsibilities

1. Cultivate a "life merchant" for family members

Try turning the husband's shirt drawer into a "self-service supermarket" and prepare a climbing snack rack for children. Starting from this week, let each member manage their own items in their exclusive area, and you will find that even eight year olds can remember their soccer class time.

2. Establish deposit and withdrawal rules for emotional accounts

Stop exchanging household chores for love. When you want to express concern, you can exchange it for a fifteen minute shoulder and neck massage or watch a documentary together. At the same time, clearly inform the family: "I hope to receive a handwritten birthday gift, not a dishwasher coupon."

3. Create a dedicated "offline time"

set three hours a week and set the phone to Do Not Disturb mode. It can be growing succulents on the balcony, or jumping on the Zunba with the video. The sense of ceremony is so strong that it makes the family form a conditioned reflex: "On Sunday afternoon, when Mom is charging, please pick up snacks by yourself."

Recently, there is a particularly popular term called "60 point mom". In fact, marriage also needs this "blank wisdom"? When you no longer play the role of a power hungry super The most touching part of family life is the clumsy yet real growth of a nanny, her husband finally learning to use registration software, and her child starting to organize their own backpack. Tomorrow for breakfast, why not try frying a few eggs together with the whole family?