How many people rely solely on their children to sustain their marriages? The words of those who have come here are heart wrenching

When I was scrolling through my phone late at night, I saw my best friend post a message that was only visible to friends: 'Married for five years, only the child's photo in the dialog box is the payment notification'. The accompanying picture shows the neatly arranged "Kindergarten payment 1600" and "Milk powder money transferred to me" in the chat record - this is not a conversation between husband and wife, but clearly a schedule for parenting projects. How many people chat enthusiastically in parent groups, but when they go home with their partners, they feel like roommates?

1. Why do children become the glue of marriage?

1. Common goals transfer conflicts.

When couples focus all their energy on "how to get their children into key primary schools", trivial arguments such as "why don't they always change the toilet seat" and "forgetting the anniversary" are automatically downgraded. Raising children is like running a company together, with performance KPIs that leave no room for office politics.

2. Emotional compensation mechanism

Children's pride when learning to recite ancient poems and excitement when winning awards at sports events fill the silent gaps in marriage with high-frequency emotional feedback. Some couples even need to use the excuse of "giving their children a complete home" to continue sleeping in the same bed.

2. What are the hidden dangers of a marriage maintained by children?

1. Delayed emotional outbursts Wait until your child lives on campus or starts a family, and suddenly find that the house is so quiet that you can hear the sound of the refrigerator running. The conflicts that were suppressed by parenting schedules in those years may have been fully ignited by trivial matters such as' who washed the dishes today '.

2. Abnormal emotional triangle relationship

Some mothers may leave all tenderness to their children, leaving only impatient commands to their husbands. This "mother son alliance" will make fathers more and more marginalized, and eventually form a vicious circle of "widowed parenting".

3. Add some "ingredients" to your marriage besides parenting

1. Create exclusive memory points for both of you

Set aside two hours a week, whether it's watching a TV series together or just taking a walk and chatting. The key is to have a sense of ceremony where we are not parents at this moment, just lovers.

2. Rebuilding the Emotional Connection System

Starting from recording three life details of the other person: his most The song she often hummed recently, the smell of her newly changed shampoo. These observations can restart the 'companion radar' that has been shut down by parenting life.

3. Set Conflict Buffer

Protocol: When an argument is about to escalate, one person can shout "pause" and continue communication by writing a note. Text can filter out 70% of emotional attacks. A good marriage is like a dance of two people, sometimes you need to let go and spin your hands, but always remember to return to each other's rhythm. Only when you can talk about the stars and poetry in addition to the parent teacher conference dates, will children truly understand the appearance of love.