How can three types of weak and insecure children raised by mothers change their fate?

Have you ever thought about the underlying reasons behind children hiding behind and not daring to say hello, or walking away silently when their toys are stolen? psychological research has found that a child's personality traits are already largely established before the age of 7, and the mother's parenting style often plays a decisive role.

1. Overprotective Mom: Depriving Growth Opportunities [SEP]. Children who lose the opportunity to try and make mistakes naturally cannot establish the confidence of 'I can do it'. Research has found that when these children encounter difficulties, their frontal lobe activity is 30% lower than that of their peers.

2. Danger implications of excessive warning

"Don't climb or fall" "That child may be sick". Continuous negative cues can make children perceive the world as a dangerous zone. When they grow up and face challenges, their amygdala will become abnormally active, generating unnecessary fear responses. Continuous high standards lead children into despair of 'no matter how hard they try, it's not good enough'. These children have long-term elevated levels of stress hormones in their brains.

2. Psychological trauma caused by comparison

"Look how excellent Xiao Ming next door is". Social comparison can activate the pain center of the brain, and the degree of pain is no less than physical injury. Long term exposure to this state can damage the memory function of the hippocampus. [SEP]. Children develop an overly sensitive "emotional radar" for self-protection, which is a continuous warning The state of consciousness will consume a lot of psychological energy.

2. Emotional release through venting anger

If work doesn't go smoothly, find fault with the child. Children may mistakenly believe that 'it's all my fault' and develop an excessive self blame mindset. Research has found that the connection between the prefrontal cortex and amygdala in these children is abnormally tight.

3. Threatening disciplinary measures

"If you cry again, I won't want you anymore". This sense of insecurity can cause children to develop "abandonment anxiety", which can lead to difficulties in close relationships as adults.

4. Fate changing repair plans

1. Discovering three strengths every day

Write "strength sticky notes" and post them in the child's room. Continuous positive feedback can reshape brain neural circuits, and Stanford research shows that changes can be seen in 21 days.

2. Set up a "trial and error safe zone"

Assign 1-2 tasks per week for children to complete independently, and do not criticize them if they fail. This experience can enhance the prefrontal cortex's ability to regulate fear responses.

3. Introduce an "emotional thermometer"

to teach children to express emotional intensity on a scale of 1-10. The visualization of emotions can reduce overreaction in the amygdala and cultivate emotional regulation abilities.

4. Create a successful experience

Starting with simple tasks like "helping mom get slippers" can also accumulate confidence. Every small success stimulates dopamine secretion, forming a positive cycle.

5. Demonstrate vulnerability and growth

Share your own failure experiences appropriately. Seeing that parents also make mistakes can alleviate children's perfectionist pressure and promote the formation of growth mindset.

Educator Montessori once said, "Behind every character flaw lies an unmet psychological need." Change is not about negating past parenting styles, but about raising oneself and children with a new understanding. Remember, it's never too late to repair, the plasticity of the brain lasts a lifetime. Starting today, give your child and yourself a chance to grow again.