High emotional intelligence social networking: Your sincerity is only given to those who deserve it

Have you ever encountered a situation where you are genuinely good to others, but they take your kindness for granted? The relationships that always make you feel mentally exhausted may be quietly consuming your energy. In the social unwritten rules of adults, the most important thing to learn is not to please everyone, but to reserve limited sincerity for those who truly deserve it.

1. Why are your efforts always betrayed?

1. The cost of lacking a sense of boundaries.

When goodwill has no bottom line, it is easy to become a "sticky note" in the eyes of others. I helped my colleague bring coffee three times but didn't hear a single thank you. Late at night, I heard my friend complain about their relationship issues but never saw them care about your current situation. Overgiving often does not lead to gratitude, but instead cultivates the other person's dependency.

2. Unequal Social Value

The essence of interpersonal communication is value exchange, but the value here goes far beyond the material level. Emotional value, growth value, and companionship value are all on the invisible balance. The relationship of outputting unilaterally without receiving a response is like a forever tilted seesaw.

3. The personality trap of pleasing others

People who habitually say "it's okay" are the most likely to encounter "taking advantage". Psychological research has found that excessively catering to the needs of others can reduce one's sense of self-worth, and this pattern often stems from low self-esteem formed during childhood.

2. Identify three types of people worth getting to know deeply

1. People who understand emotional feedback

Pay attention to friends who actively remember your preferences, classmates who give you medicine when you are sick, and colleagues who are genuinely happy for your job promotion. Emotional accounts require bidirectional access, and the long-term relationship of 'only withdrawing without depositing' is destined to be overdrawn.

2. Do you feel energized or exhausted after interacting with someone who can provide emotional value? High quality socializing is like a power bank, while poor socializing is like a leaky power strip. Stay away from those 'emotional vampires' who always dump emotional garbage but never care about your feelings.

3. People who are willing to grow together

True good relationships are mutual support. People who can openly point out your shortcomings, those who are more successful than you but willing to lend you a hand, and those who stay by your side during low times are all worthy of being included in the list of "key contacts" in life.

3. Practical methods for establishing healthy social relationships

1. Set a social stop loss point

Set three opportunities for all relationships: the first is tolerance, the second is communication, and the third is distancing. Just like setting a stop loss line for investment, emotional investment also requires a protection mechanism.

2. Cultivate "screening thinking"

Clean up the address book every week: people who have not interacted for more than six months, people who are only visible on their social media for three days but never like, and people who ask for likes in groups. Leave 80% of social energy to 20% of important people.

3. Practice gentle rejection

"I may not be able to help this time" is more appropriate than "I'm also busy", and "I need some alone time" is more effective than "Don't bother me". Maintain a smile when refusing, but stand firm like a cypress tree in winter. The relationships that require careful maintenance are often not strong enough in themselves. The highest level of social wisdom is to leave gentleness to those who deserve it and decisiveness to those who consume you. When you start valuing your feelings, the whole world will come to value you. This winter, why not make a break from the address book so that every sincere person can meet the same temperature.