High emotional intelligence couples understand that once these 4 things are spoken, their marriage is at risk

Marriage is like a dance between two people, if the steps are not in sync, it is easy to step on each other's feet. Some words are like sand grains hidden in shoes, seemingly insignificant, but they can make this long journey painful and unbearable. We often leave our gentlest side to strangers, but our sharpest language is directed towards those closest to us.

1. The killing power of comparing a partner with others

1. Comparing can destroy a sense of security

When you say "; Husband from another family earns an annual salary of one million; At that time, what was conveyed was not envy, but denial. This kind of denial can erode a partner's confidence like a chronic poison, ultimately causing the relationship to lose its equal foundation.

2. Comparison can trigger defensive psychology

When faced with comparison, humans instinctively develop resistance emotions. When one side starts to defend, the door to communication closes halfway, leaving only a vicious cycle of mutual blame.

3. More likely to blur real needs

On the surface, it may be saying how good others are, but in reality, it may be expressing one's dissatisfaction with the current situation. Speak directly; I hope we can plan our finances together; Comparing is more effective in solving problems.

2. Flipping through old accounts is like adding salt to a wound

1. Old accounts can restart painful memories

The brain stores painful memories particularly deeply. Every time we turn over old accounts, we reactivate those neural pathways, causing the already healed wounds to bleed again.

2. Old accounts will transfer current conflicts

Originally discussing who will wash the dishes tonight, suddenly bringing up the issue of forgetting our wedding anniversary last year. The problem snowballs and eventually deviates completely from the topic.

3. Old accounts can create a sense of insecurity.

When one party knows that any mistake will be permanently archived, they become cautious, and this tension can suffocate the relationship Spontaneity in confidential relationships.

III. "; Divorce "; It shouldn't be a bargaining chip in arguments

1. Threats will reduce the credibility of words

It's like shouting; The wolf has arrived; Children who frequently mention divorce can lose its weight. By the time serious discussions are truly needed, the other party may have become numb.

2. Threats can undermine the foundation of trust.

The most important thing in marriage is a sense of security. When divorce becomes a weapon, it's like planting a landmine on the foundation of a relationship, every step is taken with fear and trepidation.

3. Threats can lead to communication inertia

Using nuclear weapon level vocabulary to end ordinary disputes is essentially avoiding learning real communication skills. In the long run, this laziness can lead to small problems accumulating into major dangers Machine.

4. The danger of negating a partner's family of origin

1. Criticizing family members triggers deep defense

Family of origin is our root, negating it is like negating a person's place of origin. This kind of criticism often triggers a stronger backlash than criticizing oneself.

2. Neglecting the complexity of family bonds

You may only see the problems of your partner's parents, but not the thirty year old patterns of interaction between them. Making inappropriate comments will only appear arrogant and insensitive.

3. Missing opportunities for constructive communication [SEP]; Your mother always meddles in our affairs; It's better to say '; We can think together about how to define the boundaries of interacting with elders;. The latter can bring about real change. The scariest thing in marriage is not arguing, but arguing in the wrong way. Those spontaneous words are like nails nailed to a wooden board, leaving marks even when pulled out. True high emotional intelligence is to leave the gentlest language to the closest A secret person. When anger surges in your heart, try taking three deep breaths to let your emotions recede like a tide before deciding what to say. After all, love is not the absence of arguments, but the ability to embrace and sleep after arguments.