Heart wrenching reality: How many women's sincerity cannot be replaced by the phrase 'our own people' from their in laws'

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult problem of all time Recently, it has been pushed to the forefront by a variety show. The glamorous female celebrities in front of the camera, the grievances flashing in their eyes when talking about their in laws, instantly touched the hearts of countless ordinary women. The suffocating feeling of being treated as an "outsider" despite dedicating oneself wholeheartedly is like a basin of cold water in winter, watering one's heart and soul.

1. Why sincerity cannot be exchanged for sincerity

1. Misalignment of expectations

Many women hold the expectation of "empathy" before marriage, thinking that treating their mother-in-law well can lead to equal treatment. But two people with completely different upbringing backgrounds may have vastly different definitions of 'good'. The thoughtfulness in your eyes may only be seen as basic politeness by the other party.

2. Unequal emotional accounts

A mother-in-law's feelings for her daughter-in-law are often based on the identity of "this is my son's wife" rather than an independent individual. Just like depositing money into the wrong bank account, no matter how much you pay, you won't see an increase in balance.

3. Traditional concepts play a role

Some regions still retain the outdated concept of "a daughter-in-law becomes a mother-in-law", taking the estrangement between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as a natural inheritance. This mindset makes sincere communication extremely difficult.

2. Three keys to solving the dilemma

1. Establishing a sense of boundaries

A healthy mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship requires clear physical and psychological boundaries. There is no need to insist on being as close as a mother and daughter, maintaining a mutually respectful 'roommate' relationship is actually more sustainable. Remember to greet important holidays and avoid excessive interference in daily trivial matters.

2. Adjust communication style

Avoid using comparative sentence structures such as "my mom wouldn't do this" and use expressions like "we young people are used to..." more. When it comes to principle issues, the husband can be asked to serve as a buffer zone to convey opinions.

3. Cultivate common topics

From cooking techniques to square dance teaching, find entry points that both parties are interested in. A shared experience can quickly narrow the psychological distance and is more effective than deliberately pleasing others.

3. Practical skills for managing relationships

1. There are considerations for holiday gifts

Observe the mother-in-law's daily consumption habits and give gifts that meet her aesthetic preferences and are slightly higher than her daily level. Price is not important, the key is to reflect the intention of 'I understand you'.

2. Three Steps to Resolving Conflicts

When a conflict occurs, first leave the scene and calm down. Then, through the husband, understand the mother-in-law's true thoughts. Finally, choose the appropriate time to open the conversation using the phrase "I understand you are worried...".

3. Establish emotional connection points

You can do small things together regularly, such as teaching your mother-in-law how to use the new phone function through weekly videos, or making an appointment to go to the morning market once a month. A stable interactive rhythm can cultivate a sense of security. The mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship is essentially a power game between two women, but it is also a practice of tolerance. Instead of being fixated on the label of 'one's own people', it's better to focus on managing a comfortable and comfortable way of getting along. Remember, you are the protagonist of your own life first, and then someone else's daughter-in-law. In this cold season, may every woman warm her heart first.