Has the marital relationship become weaker? Try this secret to warm up love

That day at the coffee shop, I heard the girl next to me complain, "We've only been married for three years, and we're like roommates." With a stirrer poking at the lemon slice at the bottom of her cup, she sighed and said that even arguing now is tiring. The mist on the glass window blurred the pedestrians outside, resembling the gradually hazy warmth in many marriages.

1. Why does marriage enter a period of fatigue?

1. Shelf life of dopamine.

Scientists have found that dopamine secreted by the brain during the honeymoon period usually lasts for 18-36 months. After this natural stimulant subsides, partners are prone to "emotional myopia" and see each other's strengths as blurred backgrounds.

2. Shift of Life Focus

From a two person world to a parenting alliance, from a candlelight dinner to a discussion in a school district room, common topics are being squeezed narrower and narrower by daily necessities. A survey shows that after the birth of a child, the average time spent alone by couples decreases by 73%.

3. Inert in emotional expression

When in love, even the way the other person squeezes toothpaste feels cute, but now they are too lazy to say "Your hairstyle is good today". This inertia in emotional expression can form a vicious cycle, causing harm to relatives The sense of secrecy continues to dissipate.

2. Three methods to reactivate emotional accounts

1. Create fresh memory points

Regularly trying new things can generate new associative memories in the brain, such as unlocking a new restaurant every month or learning a duet dance together. Neuroscience research shows that memories generated when experiencing new experiences together are more profound.

2. Establish an exclusive code system

Develop body language or vocabulary that only you understand, such as tapping three times to represent "I need support", or a movie line to represent "I miss you". This secret communication method can create unique intimacy Confidentiality.

3. Create a sense of daily ritual

can be a five minute hug in the morning or applying hand cream to each other before bedtime. These fixed small rituals stabilize emotions like anchor points, and psychological experiments have shown that daily rituals can increase relationship satisfaction by 23%.

3. Avoiding Three Common Misconceptions

1. Overreliance on Material compensation

Using gifts instead of companionship is like feeding cookies to a thirsty person. Emotional bank accounts require regular deposits of "circulating currency" such as time, attention, and empathy.

2. Comparative Communication

"Other husbands This kind of thing is more likely to trigger defensive psychology. Try using "I hope we The sentence structure of '...' turns complaints into common goals.

3. Neglecting body language

Research shows that nonverbal communication between couples accounts for 93%. A heartfelt shoulder and neck massage may convey more warmth than saying 'I love you'. Marriage is like an antique clock that requires regular maintenance, where seemingly tiny gears bite together and are the key to sustained timekeeping. Try holding the other person's hand for three seconds at breakfast tomorrow, this simple gesture may become the starting point for recalibrating emotions.