Happy Couple vs Unfortunate Couple: 3 Modes of Interacting Determine the Ending, Which One Do You Belong to?

Late at night, I brushed my circle of friends and saw my girlfriend showing pictures of her hot pot date with her husband, with the caption "Five years of marriage is still in love". On the contrary, my colleague next door complained about "less than three words a day with my husband". Both are marriages, why are some like honey that becomes sweeter as they are brewed, while others are like overnight tea that becomes bitter as it is served?

1. Emotional processing determines marital temperature

1. Volcanic eruption type

Throwing things, reconciling old accounts, and personal attacks are like pouring gasoline into a fire. Research has found that it takes 48 hours for the body to recover from stress after intense arguments, and frequent wars can keep both sides on guard for a long time.

2. Cold War Avoidance

uses silence as a weapon to turn the bedroom into an ice cellar. On the surface, everything is calm, but in reality, emotional garbage keeps piling up. Psychology has a concept of "emotional account", where every cold and violent transaction is a secret withdrawal.

3. Rational communication type

Couples who shout the pause button often go further. Agree to "isolate for 15 minutes when emotionally charged" and use "my words" to express feelings rather than blame, which is like putting shock absorbers on emotions.

2. The quality of daily interaction affects the quality of intimacy Secret concentration

1. Zombie style interaction

Same table eating with each other using their phones, back-to-back watching TV shows before bedtime. A marriage without eye contact, no matter how much time we spend together, is just a physical superposition. Neuroscience research shows that visual stimulation can promote the secretion of oxytocin.

2. Ritual Interaction

Couples who insist on good morning kisses and weekly dates are actually depositing money into their relationship. Simple physical contact can stimulate the tactile vesicles beneath the skin, sending safety signals to the brain.

3. Growth oriented companionship

Couples who learn new skills and plan common goals together will have a sustained sense of freshness in their relationship. Like two intertwined upward spiral lines, they maintain independence and support each other.

III. Danger Coping mode tests relationship resilience

1. Mutual blame mode

blaming each other for not taking good care of children when they are sick and facing financial crisis My spouse doesn't know how to manage their finances. This way of finding scapegoats will only make the problem snowball bigger and bigger.

2. Solo Fighting Mode

One side takes on all the pressure, appearing considerate but actually blocking emotional flow. This kind of "false intimacy" is common in marriage therapy, which appears harmonious but hides a timed explosion Bullet.

3. Team Combat Mode

treats difficulties as replicas that need to be overcome together, with division of labor and cooperation, and mutual support. In this mode, every time there is danger Machines will instead become the adhesive of relationships. Observing those golden married couples, it can be found that they are not without conflicts, but have already turned their compatibility into tacit understanding. Try to put down your phone and listen carefully to the other person when you go home tonight, develop a new recipe together over the weekend, and give each other a hug next time we argue. Marriage is like a partnership that requires continuous capital injection to sustain profitability.