Encountering betrayal but not wanting a divorce? These three tricks can give marriage a new lease on life

When a marriage is betrayed, the feeling of being stabbed by the most trusted person is like pouring a bucket of ice water in winter. But strangely enough, many people neither want to get divorced nor can let go, stuck in a vicious cycle of 'not being able to get rid of it'. In fact, the key to repairing cracks is often hidden in three unexpected places.

1. Stop the vicious cycle of asking for details

1. Why is it more painful to ask?

Digging deeper and deeper is like repeatedly tearing open a scab wound. Every time you ask "when did you start?", the brain will reproduce the picture like a high-definition projector. Psychology has found that excessive recollection of traumatic events This will strengthen the pain memory circuit of the nervous system.

2. Change the direction of the question

Replace "why did he betray" with "where did our relationship have loopholes", with the former pointing to attack and the latter pointing to repair. Try to make a list of long neglected needs in the marriage, which may be due to lack of effective communication or broken emotional connections.

2. Establish new ways of emotional connection

1. Create common memory points

Schedule 2 hours of "exclusive time" per week, which can be cooking dinner together or playing board games for two. The key is to create a relaxed atmosphere without criticism, gradually covering negative memories with positive experiences.

2. The Power of Body Language

A 10 second hug every day can stimulate the secretion of oxytocin, a "hug hormone" that can reduce stress levels. Starting with simple physical contact to rebuild trust, such as naturally holding hands when crossing the street.

III. Rebuilding the Self Value System

1. Distinguish between Betrayal and Self Value

Prepare a notebook to record your strengths, and flip through it whenever you have the thought of "I'm not good enough". Betrayal reflects the other party's way of handling needs, not your value scale.

2. Develop an independent social circle

Register for painting classes that you have always wanted to learn, participate in book clubs, and establish a sense of identity other than marriage. When there are more pivot points in life, anxiety about marriage will naturally dilute.

Marriage is in danger A machine is like a sweater with loose threads, pulling it hard will make the hole bigger. But if patiently patched one by one, those areas that have been patched will actually become the strongest parts. Give yourself and your relationship some time, and the healing process itself will bring unexpected growth.