Did your in laws treat you as an outsider after marriage? Smart women use these 3 tricks to turn the tide

When she first got married, her friend A always roast in the group: "My mother-in-law can't remember my seafood allergy, and the whole table of New Year's Eve dinner is full of crabs; my sister-in-law friends' circle will never have me; my husband's salary card is still in his mother's hands..." These details are like thorns, which make people feel uneasy. In fact, 90% of newlywed conflicts stem from a vague sense of boundaries, but girls with high emotional intelligence have long mastered the password to breaking through.

1. Establishing clear physical boundaries

1. The art of spatial separation

Try not to live with parents in law for the first two years after marriage, even if renting a house, maintain independent space. Research has found that the frequency of arguments between cohabiting couples is three times higher than that of living alone. Limit family gatherings to 1-2 times a week and schedule visitation times in advance to avoid sudden attacks Knock on the door.

2. Item attribution marking

Use tableware and towels of different colors to distinguish personal items in the shared living space. Important documents and personal belongings locked in dedicated drawers are more effective visual signals than verbal statements. When your mother-in-law wants to help you "organize" your wardrobe, she smiled and handed over her exclusive storage box: "Mom, my professional clothes need special care, just put them here.

2. Wisdom for Managing Emotional Accounts

1. Fixed Deposit Strategy

Arrange a monthly exclusive date with your mother-in-law, which can be a beauty salon shoulder and neck care or her favorite opera performance. The key is to create secret topics that only you know, such as secretly helping her shop for old brand peach cakes online, which can accumulate trust more than giving away bird's nest in public.

2. Timing of Withdrawal

When encountering conflicts in parenting concepts, first praise "it must make sense for you to raise such an excellent husband", and then take out an authoritative parenting magazine: "The latest experts all suggest...". For important holidays, if you ask your husband to come forward and give gifts, you just need to add: "This is something that XX (husband) and I have been choosing for a long time."

3. Building an Alliance Front

1. Key Person Strategy

First, take down the opinion leaders in the family, usually retired teacher aunts or aunties who are passionate about square dancing. Their one sentence 'Young people are like this now' is more effective than ten sentences from you. Pay attention to who always shares health articles in the family group, and occasionally send her some fresh information.

2. Building a Community of Shared Interests

Cultivating common interests among the whole family, such as Zhang Luo registering his father-in-law for a photography class, naturally forming a collective decision of "our family" when equipment needs to be upgraded. Two child families can propose: "Da Bao's early education classes require the cooperation of the whole family. I have made a division of labor table for everyone to take a look at?"

Those wives who are always praised as "lucky" have already seen through it: marriage is not just about two people, but a rearrangement of two energy fields. When you transform your "confrontational" thinking into "dominant relationship orientation", the pickle jar of your mother-in-law and the gossip of your sister-in-law will become background music in the drama of life. Starting tomorrow, will we try to manage family relationships with the mindset of creating solutions for clients?