Cultivate outstanding children: master the six principles of psychology, go beyond simple praise

When the neighbor's child wins first place in the piano competition again, but your child even has to bargain for practicing the piano, don't rush to compare. Child development experts have found that the gap between ordinary children and "other people's children" often lies in the way parents interact in their daily lives. Children who are always praised as "really smart" are actually more likely to give up in the face of difficulties.

1. Growth mindset: Step on the myth of talent

1. Avoid fixed labels

"You're really good at math" This evaluation will help children form a fixed cognition. Try saying "This problem-solving method is very creative" and focus on the specific process of effort.

2. Emphasize modifiable factors

paraphrase "no artistic cells" as "practicing lines a few more times will make them smoother". The Stanford experiment showed that this expression can improve children's persistence by 47%.

3. Failure Refactoring Techniques

When failing the exam, don't say "it's okay", but "what areas can be improved this time?" Help establish the understanding that "difficulties are temporary".

2. Three Elements of Motivation: Unlocking Inner Driving Forces

1. Autonomy Design

Allow children to choose whether to do math or Chinese homework first. Psychology has proven that small choices can stimulate a sense of responsibility.

2. Creating a sense of competence

Breaking down large tasks into small goals, completing each step promptly and affirming. Just like game completion design, continuous positive feedback is crucial.

3. Sense of belonging connection

Sitting next to reading while doing homework is more effective than "learning quickly". The peer effect can reduce task resistance.

3. The golden ratio of active attention

1. Positive and negative feedback of 5:1

5 positive feedbacks for each correction. This god Odd proportion can maintain children's psychological resilience, and a follow-up study by the University of Maryland has confirmed its effect.

2. Descriptive praise

Replace "really well behaved" with "you took the initiative to tidy up the building blocks". Provide specific descriptions to help children identify which behaviors are worth repeating.

3. Avoid excessive praise

Too frequent "fantastic" can dilute the motivational effect. Like a Michelin starred chef sprinkling salt, precise and moderate taste is the key.

4. Scaffolding style guidance techniques

1. Principle of timely advance and retreat

When a child's puzzle is stuck, observe first and then ask "Do you need a prompt. Like a mountain guide, only reaching out on steep slopes.

2. Questioning style inspiration

Replace "should be drawn this way" with "What would happen if some shadows were added. Open ended questions activate creative thinking.

3. Gradually remove the auxiliary

from hand to hand, to verbal prompts, and then to complete release, forming a smooth ability transition curve.

5. Mirror teaching of emotion regulation

1. Naming emotion techniques

"Do you feel like a volcano is about to erupt now? Help children express emotions through language rather than action.

2. Demonstration of coping strategies

When parents are angry, they can say, "I need to take three deep breaths. Children learn emotional management through observation.

3. Establish a safe harbor

agree to fill the "cooling off corner" with stress relieving items. Children who know there is a way out are more willing to face challenges.

6. Clever Use of Social Reference

1. Horizontal Comparison Trap

"You see how serious Xiao Ming is" will trigger defensive psychology. Use "Yesterday you focused longer than before" instead.

2. Role Model Story Power

Telling Edison's story of a thousand failures is more convincing than directly asking "don't give up".

3. Positive group suggestion

"Many students in your class are reading in the library" can stimulate the positive effect of conformity psychology.

The true educational wisdom lies in translating psychological principles into daily actions. When parents no longer rely on empty compliments such as "awesome" and "smart", but instead use scientific interactive methods, they will witness their children grow naturally like plants encountering sunlight. Remember, every child comes with their own growth password, and we only need to master the correct way to unlock it.