Children are always prone to getting angry, is it an adult's problem or a child's problem?

When a child gets angry, many parents' first reaction is' why is this child so disobedient? '. But neuroscience research has found that children's emotional outbursts are often the "mirror reaction" of adults - we unintentionally teach them how to express emotions.

1. The Brain Science Truth Behind Being Angry

1. Mirror Neurons at Work

There are special cells in children's brains that reflect adult behavior like mirrors. When parents use yelling to deal with conflicts, children learn to express dissatisfaction through screaming.

2. Immature emotional regulation ability

The amygdala responsible for controlling emotions does not fully develop until adolescence. That's why laughing one second and crying the next is like installing an emotional switch.

3. Language expression cannot keep up with thinking

3-year-old children generate an average of 7 ideas per minute, but can only speak 2 word sentences. This kind of frustration, which is difficult to express, often turns into anger.

2. Three common misconceptions among parents

1. Counter violence with violence Suppressing crying with a louder volume will only teach children the principle of 'whoever speaks louder is right'. Research has found that this pattern can lead to increased aggression in children.

2. Oversatisfied Compromise

To satisfy unreasonable demands for quietness, it is equivalent to training children to "cry and win". Experiments have shown that these children have poorer emotional regulation abilities.

3. Cold treatment neglect

Pretending not to see a child who is angry can trigger their primal fear. Appropriate appeasement is necessary to establish a sense of security.

3. Cracking the 3 keys to getting angry

1. Being an emotional translator

Replace "you know how to cry" with "Are you angry that your sister touched your toy. Helping children translate their feelings into language can reduce emotional intensity by 40%.

2. Provide a safe outlet.

Prepare an "emotional box" to hold tearable waste paper and squeezable plasticine. A study has found that children's calmness rate increases by two times after the release of limbs.

3. Demonstrate the correct coping style

When you are emotionally agitated, you can say in front of your child, "Mom is very angry now and needs to take three deep breaths. The fastest way for children to learn is through imitation.

4. Parents each bear 50% of the responsibility

1. Children's 50%: physiological development limitations

Immature brain determines that they cannot temporarily achieve rational control, which is a necessary stage of growth.

2. 50% of parents: The way they respond determines the direction

Our response patterns are shaping children's future emotional management abilities.

The next time you get angry with your child, remember that this is not a competition, but a teaching moment. Squat down and look into the child's eyes, and say in a calm voice, "I noticed that you are very excited now. Do you need help?" You will find that when adults manage their 50% responsibility first, half of the child's 50% problems are solved. The best textbook for emotional education is always a stable emotional state for parents.