Always disappointed in your partner? Try this golden rule that heats up emotions

Have you ever had such a moment? Although the other party just forgot to put their socks in the laundry basket, you suddenly feel that this relationship is coming to an end. Those tiny disappointments piled up like mountains, like a frozen lake in winter, calm on the surface but hidden beneath dangerous cracks. Why do we always feel disappointed in our partners?

1. Expectations are too high

Dopamine in the early stages of love can cause people to develop "; Perfect Filter "; However, over time, the filter may fade and easily get stuck; He should understand all my needs; The thinking trap. In fact, no one can fully understand another person's thoughts.

2. communication style mismatch

using "; You always .." The accusatory communication at the beginning will put the other party in a defensive state. A study found that 67% of conflicts between partners cannot be completely resolved, but changing the way of expression can significantly reduce the probability of conflict escalation.

3. Ignoring positive interactions

The brain responds to negative things The memory intensity of the item is a positive thing Five times the size of the item, this makes it easy for us to remember our partner's mistakes and take daily care for granted.

2. The Golden Rule for Boosting Emotions

1. Establish an emotional account

Manage emotions like a bank deposit, and every considerate act is a "; Deposit "; Every time the injury is; Withdrawal;. By maintaining a positive to negative interaction ratio of 5:1, relationships can continue to be preserved. Bring a hot drink after work today and help massage your shoulders tomorrow. These small savings will accumulate into emotional security funds.

2. Set buffer mechanism

When negative emotions surge, do other things for 20 minutes before communicating. This period of time is enough to reduce cortisol levels by 40% and avoid saying hurtful words during peak emotions.

3. Create common memory points

Set aside 2 hours of exclusive time per week; Ceremony Time "; It can be making breakfast together or playing the same board game. Common experiences can stimulate the brain to secrete oxytocin, which; Embrace Hormones "; Can enhance intimacy Confidentiality.

3. Daily Operational Tips

1. Transform Expressions [SEP]; Why did you .." Replace with '; I hope to be able to next time .." Take '; You never .." Change to "; If you could I will be particularly happy;. Changing tone can increase the efficiency of receiving appeals by three times.

2. Design a safety word

agree on a nonsensical word, when either party says this word, it represents "; I am currently losing control of my emotions and need to remain calm;. This humorous interrupt key can effectively prevent arguments from escalating.

3. Regular Relationship Physical Examination

Choose a relaxing evening every month and conduct the examination with three questions: the most What recent event has made you feel loved? Is there anything you want to say but haven't spoken out yet? What new attempts do you hope we can add next month?

Emotions are like a winter blanket, always cold as soon as you lie down, requiring both parties to continuously transmit body temperature in order to warm up. Those small moments that make you frown are actually opportunities to warm up again. Starting today, try to replace complaints with hugs, and you will find that the warmest heat source is within reach.