When marriage becomes a cage, smart women do it first

Marriage should be a safe haven, but when it becomes a cage that binds the body and mind, many women will fall into confusion. Some people choose to endure, some choose to explode, but truly smart women often do one thing first - to rediscover themselves.

1. Why marriage can be suffocating

1. Imbalance in character positioning

When the roles of wife and mother completely replace "self", it's like wearing a costume that can never be taken off. I am busy taking care of my family every day, but I forget that I also need to be taken care of.

2. communication channels are blocked

Many couples only have functional conversations such as "How are the children" and "Have you paid the water and electricity bills communication. The flow of emotions is blocked by the high walls built by daily trivialities.

3. Personal Space Compression

A healthy marriage requires a sense of breathing. When the worlds of two people completely overlap and even solitude becomes a luxury, a sense of oppression quietly breeds.

2. Three key steps to rebuilding oneself

1. Regain hobbies and interests

Where have you been, who loves painting, dancing, and traveling? Pick up a hobby that has been put on hold, without considering practical value, just to please yourself.

2. Establishing a social circle

In addition to family relationships, one also needs to have their own friends. Regularly gather with girlfriends, participate in interest groups, and make life more fulfilling.

3. Set personal goals

can be reading 20 books, learning a new skill, or completing a half marathon. These small goals unrelated to marriage can help you regain a sense of control.

3. Practical methods to improve marital relationships

1. Learn to express needs

Use "I need" instead of "you should" to directly and gently express your feelings and expectations. For example, 'I need half a day of my own time every week'.

2. Create Two Person Time

Regularly schedule dates with only two people to relive the sweetness of love. Remember, you are lovers first, and then parents.

3. Establish health boundaries

Clearly define what you can compromise on and what bottom lines you must adhere to. A healthy marriage requires a moderate sense of boundaries. Marriage is like two people dancing together, sometimes they need to be close, sometimes they need to distance themselves. When you find your rhythm again, you can jump out of more beautiful dance steps. Remember, the best marital state is: it's great to have you, and I can live a wonderful life without you.