The unspoken rules of marriage that smart women understand: the tighter you hold onto them, the worse you'll lose

Have you noticed that women who are particularly tired in marriage often hold their husbands in high regard? Check your phone, schedule, and social media accounts, wishing to have 24-hour access to your partner's every move. Strangely, the more we do this, the more likely our marriage is to have problems.

1. Why do we lose more when we hold onto it tightly?

1. The feeling of suffocation makes people want to escape.

Everyone needs a certain amount of personal space, which is human nature. When one party feels over controlled, their instinct is to resist and flee. It's like holding a handful of sand in your hand, the tighter you grip it, the faster it drains away.

2. Lack of trust destroys the foundation of relationships

The most important foundation of marriage is mutual trust. Frequent job inspections and suspicious behavior are essentially sending a signal of 'I don't trust you'. This negative suggestion will gradually erode the foundation of emotions.

3. Mismatch of energy leads to self loss.

Spending all energy on "marking people" neglects one's own growth and improvement. When you focus all your attention on the other person, it's easy to lose your charm.

2. Smart Women's interpersonal Wisdom

1. Maintain Appropriate Distance

A good marriage is not a conjoined baby, but two trees growing side by side. Leaving space for each other to breathe can actually make relationships healthier. You can agree on some personal time and respect each other's interests and hobbies.

2. Establish a positive communication mechanism

Instead of secretly checking your phone, it's better to communicate openly and honestly. Regularly engage in in-depth conversations to share each other's feelings and needs. Remember, the purpose of communication is understanding, not control.

3. Focus on yourself

Investing in yourself is always the most cost-effective deal. Cultivate new interests and hobbies, enhance professional skills, and maintain social circle activity. When you live a wonderful life, you will naturally attract the other person's attention.

3. The correct posture for managing marriage

1. Clear bottom line but no limits

There should be a clear bottom line for principled issues, but learn to be tolerant of non principled issues. Distinguish between what is absolutely unacceptable and what is negotiable.

2. Replace control with attraction

and its flowers It's better to enhance one's own attractiveness than to control the other person's mind. Keep it fresh and mysterious, and make the other person actively want to get closer to you.

3. Growing together is the long-term solution

Find things that both parties are interested in doing together and set common life goals. When both of you can grow in marriage, the relationship will naturally become more stable. Marriage is like flying a kite, the string is too tight and easy to break, and too loose and it will fly away. Find the perfect force The degree is necessary to make the kite fly high and stable. It's better to spend more time managing oneself than to focus on "marking people". Remember, the best marital state is: having you is great, and I can live a wonderful life without you.