The truth about women's growth: learning to let go is the advanced way of life

While scrolling through her phone late at night, she suddenly saw a coffee pairing caption posted on her best friend's social media: "After turning 30, I finally understand that it's better to stick to sand than to blow it up." In the caption, she cut her hair neatly and smiled with white teeth by the Erhai Lake. This reminds me that last week she was still roast about the workplace PUA, but now the whole person seems to have unloaded a heavy burden. In the growth script of adult women, the compulsory course of "letting go" often requires more courage than "striving for".

1. Why is letting go harder than persisting

1. The sunk cost trap

is like a fitness annual pass that we can't bear to cancel, we always hold onto the time, emotions, and money we have already invested. The brain automatically amplifies the pain of 'loss', which is even twice as intense as the pleasure gained. Those PPTs made late at night, flavors changed for love, and exorbitant interest classes signed up for children have all become transparent shackles.

2. Society expects kidnapping

"You're already in your thirties and still not getting married? Be a mother What career are people pursuing? These voices are like invisible rulers, measuring every choice. A reader once left a message saying that she secretly quit her bank job and opened a bakery for three years, and still dare not tell her relatives in her hometown When giving up a relationship or identity, the fear is actually the proposition of 'who am I'. As divorced women often say, "I used to be Mrs. Zhang, but now that I'm Miss Li, I don't know how to order anymore Recent conversation list: Does the news from the colleague who always complains, the distant relative who always asks you for money, and the "best friend" who denies all your decisions make you instinctively frown? interpersonal relationships are like background programs on a mobile phone, hidden power consuming applications can slow down the entire system.

2. Relaxing perfectionism

A mother of two shared that when she allowed herself to use frozen dumplings for dinner, she suddenly had two more hours to read a novel that had been on hold for three years. Being a bit messy at home won't make children lack love, and having fewer animations in the PPT won't affect promotion. Mothers who score 60 are more popular than resentful women who score 100.

3. Stop being overly responsible for

colleagues' projects, parents' retirement, and children's homework Women often carry the whole world on their shoulders. Try replacing 'I'll do it' with 'What do you think?' Adult children have the right to decide their own marriage, and 8-year-old children can bear the consequences of forgetting their textbooks.

3. Butterfly Effect After Letting Go

1. Law of Conservation of Energy

Giving up evening drama time may be exchanged for morning yoga time; Stop the obsession of pleasing your mother-in-law and instead gain their respect. Just like tidying up a wardrobe, freeing up space is the key to finding something more suitable.

2. Bottom up rebound mechanism

When writer Haruki Murakami closed his long-standing jazz bar to focus on writing, no one expected that this decision would give birth to "Norwegian Wood". Life always has an amazing self Yuli, the end itself may be the starting point of a turning point.

3. Self Core Awakening

After removing the labels of "virtuous wife and mother" and "strong woman in the workplace", you will hear the true voice of your heart. Just like peeling open layers of onions, although it may bring tears, what you ultimately meet is your complete self.

Next time you tidy up your wardrobe, why not ask yourself: Should we also break up in life? Those obsessions that make you breathe heavily may have been bid farewell as gently as an old sweater. True growth is not about stuffing more things into your backpack, but learning to discern what is worth cherishing and what should be left in yesterday's scenery.