My husband suddenly started talking about his ex? This is the smart way for couples to cope after ten years

After finishing watching the drama late at night and preparing to turn off the lights, my husband suddenly stared at the ceiling and said, "Actually, my first love in college..." The air instantly froze into ice. This unexpected 'ex topic' is like spilled milk tea, pretending to be calm on the surface and wiping it off, but already exploding in the heart for three hundred rounds.

First, press the pause button for the emotion

1. Pause instinct

When hearing sensitive words, fingers may unconsciously pinch the pillow tightly. At this point, blink your eyes three times quickly and replace the phrase 'Is she better looking than me?' with 'I'm listening,' leaving a buffer zone for your brain.

2. Activate observation mode

Pay attention to the other person's micro expression when bringing up this topic: is it a nostalgic chuckle or a relieved shrug? At the same time, feeling whether one's stomach is tightening, these bodily signals are more honest than words.

2. Turn the conversation into emotional exploration

1. Use questioning instead of judgment

"What was your favorite thing about her at that time? This question is like a searchlight, which may reveal his unfulfilled emotional needs from the past, or perhaps discover that he is now thirsty for more encouragement.

2. Finding the needs behind the topic

Suddenly nostalgic may be a sign of midlife crisis The projection of the machine, or the most Escaping under work pressure. Like a puzzle game, ask: "Is there anything that makes you feel similar to back then?"

3. Establish new emotional connection points

Uninstall. Those sudden ex topics are just reminders from the system that you should upgrade your emotional version. Next time you encounter this situation, consider it as a deep compatibility test, maybe it can unlock hidden features.