Men who can't resist doing these things during arguments are really afraid of losing you

Have you noticed that some couples have a particularly unique art style when they argue? Other people's homes are hot wheels of the Cold War Despite his appearance, he happened to stage the TV series' clingy '. A second ago, he was still full of anger, but in the blink of an eye, he squatted in the kitchen and boiled brown sugar water for you; Even though I feel wronged, I took out my phone and ordered my favorite takeout for you first. This kind of argument pattern, where anger carries a sweet taste, hides not cowardice, but the panic of being afraid of losing you.

1. What are men afraid of when they can't resist doing these 3 things during an argument?

1. The clumsy operation of actively breaking the ice.

They are truly afraid of losing the person, and they start to panic before their anger points are fully accumulated. Just as you raised the volume on your end, he reflexively handed over a tissue; You turned around to leave, but he immediately blocked the door handle with his body and pretended to tie his shoelaces. This seemingly contradictory action is actually a subconscious warning - he is more afraid of a rift in his relationship than fighting for right or wrong.

2. Suddenly activated repeater mode

"Don't go", "I was wrong", "Let's make up" three sentences loop back and forth, like a cassette tape recorder. On the surface, it may seem like word poverty, but in reality, it is an instinct under emotional overload. Psychology has found that when people are extremely anxious, the brain repeatedly calls the most familiar language template, just like grabbing the closest floating board when drowning.

3. Body is more honest than mouth series

The mouth is still stubbornly silent, and the body has completed a series of difficult movements: quietly straighten the slippers you kicked open, silently adjust the air conditioning temperature next to your seat, and even quickly pick up the coriander in your bowl when you go to the bathroom. The sentence is:. These subconscious caring actions reveal the most genuine choices in one's heart.

2. Why is it easier to mess up when you are afraid of losing?

1. Emotional brain crushes rational brain.

When fear prevails, the frontal lobe of the brain responsible for rationality will directly shut down. That's why some people suddenly start memorizing pi when they argue, or inexplicably praise your new hairstyle for looking good - it's not a strategy, it's just garbled output after the system crashes.

2. Emergency supply of sense of security

Just like a baby confirms the presence of its mother through crying, adults also test relationship security in various ways. Those seemingly childish entanglements, such as insisting on fastening all the buttons on your jacket or suddenly checking your phone battery, are all repeatedly confirming 'I still have you'.

3. Side effects of defense mechanism

Some people use anger to conceal vulnerability, just like pufferfish will swell into balls when in danger. When he says' Then you go ', his eyes are fixed on the wheels of your suitcase, and this reverse operation often exposes the greatest softness Ribs.

3. How to catch this heavy care

1. Leave a buffer zone for emotions

When he starts to ramble on old accounts, try saying "we need a twenty minute cooling off period". This period of time is enough to stop the amygdala from overreacting, often without waiting for the timer to end, he will knock on the door with a cut fruit.

2. Establish a security word mechanism

to agree on a nonsensical pause signal, such as "jackfruit" or "octopus brother". When someone says this word, both parties must stop arguing and do something more relaxed. This small sense of ceremony can quickly cut off the vicious cycle of emotions.

3. Transform aggression into creativity

Next time he suddenly starts wiping the floor or fixing a light bulb during an argument, don't tear it open, pass a cloth and say, "Also, wipe the bookshelf. This transformation not only releases stress, but also unexpectedly yields a clean home for the argument. The truly precious relationship is not to never argue, but to expose how afraid of losing each other every time we argue. Those clumsy, funny, and even laughable remedial actions are the Morse code of love. When you understand the deep affection behind these flushes, even arguments can become special bonds Secret practice.