Marriage preservation secret: why do some couples become more affectionate as they get older?

There are always people curious about those elderly couples with white hair who still walk hand in hand. Is there a time preservative hidden in their marriage? Actually, love is like an apple. Whether it wilts or becomes sweeter after being stored for a long time depends on the storage method. The most A video of an elderly couple who have been married for 50 years feeding ice cream to each other on the street has become popular recently, and a pile of lemon juice has exploded in the comment section: This is not marriage, it's clearly a sequel to a fairy tale!

1. Incorporate "us" into daily ritual

1. Create exclusive secret codes

Aunt Zhang, who has been married for 30 years, still uses the Morse code she used when she was dating to knock on the heating pipe and ask her husband to have breakfast. These small actions are like anti-counterfeiting labels for marriage. Try developing a special language between you, such as using specific emojis instead of 'I love you', and conveying emotions through lines from an old movie.

2. Regularly update their relationship patterns

In the photo albums of golden couples, you can always see that they develop new hobbies every few years: from dancing ballroom dancing when they were young to group dancing in old age. relationships are like mobile phone systems, they will lag if not upgraded. You can agree to try something new every quarter, such as learning how to make latte art together this month and challenging two person yoga next month.

2. Install a Filter for Emotions

1. Set a Calm Buffer Zone

Interviewed 200 couples' marriage counselors and found that they have one thing in common when arguing: they never say more than three heavy words in a row. Just like the partition in hotpot, it creates a safe zone for spicy emotions. It can be agreed to do something nonsensical when angry, such as making a funny face in front of the mirror, which often makes the laughter scene unbearable.

2. Cultivate positive expression habits

Research has found that replacing "you should" with "I hope" can increase the other person's acceptance by 73%. Try replacing 'Why are you littering socks again' with 'If only socks could walk into the laundry basket by themselves', which is comparable to adding a soft light filter to the conversation.

3. Managing a shared psychological account

1. Establishing a memory bank

Psychology has a "warm memory effect", regularly revisiting happy moments can improve relationship satisfaction. Why not prepare a glass jar and write your daily small joys into a piece of paper to store? It's more precious than any gift to read out during the anniversary celebration.

2. Developing a Two Person Growth Model

Couples who become more compatible with each other as they age often maintain a synchronized learning state. You can take turns reading books of common interest or register for the same interest class. Just like two trees next to each other, the tangled roots grow more steadily. Marriage preservation has never been a mystery. The sweetness of those silver haired couples is just playing the little tricks of love for fifty or sixty years. The next time you see new wrinkles around your spouse's eyes, try looking at them again with the same heart rate as when you first met them, and perhaps you will discover the icing sugar hidden in time.