Marriage preservation secret: Good men are not made by scolding, but by nurturing them in this way

Marriage is like a pot of soup simmered slowly over a low flame. If the heat is too strong, it will easily dry up, while if the heat is not strong enough, it will be bland and tasteless. Many people find that their once gentle and considerate partner gradually becomes silent and even perfunctory after marriage. In fact, men's behavior is often a mirror that reflects the interaction patterns in marriage.

1. Positive feedback is more effective than criticism

1. Replace criticism with praise

When he throws his socks around, try saying "Last time you took the initiative to tidy up the living room, you looked particularly handsome" instead of "why did you throw them around again". The brain is three times more sensitive to reward signals than to punishment signals, and sustained positive stimulation will make the other person more willing to repeat good behavior.

2. Establish an achievement list

Prepare a glass jar and write down specific tasks every time he completes household chores or expresses concern Put the item into the can. Reviewing these 'highlight moments' together every month, this visualization encourages and reinforces positive behavior patterns.

2. Give Sufficient Emotional Value

1. Create Exclusive Decoder

Men often express their love in a hidden way, which may be silently repairing household appliances or actively adding gasoline. Establish your 'love codebook', identify these unique emotional expressions, and provide clear responses.

2. Set an emotional buffer zone

in the first 15 minutes after he returns home from work to avoid discussing household or financial issues. During this period, the male brain needs to switch from working mode, and a simple hug or a glass of warm water is more helpful in opening communication channels than a series of questions.

3. Cultivate a mutual growth relationship

1. Develop a two person learning program

Sign up for cooking classes, fitness challenges, or book clubs together, and fresh experiences can stimulate dopamine secretion. A study found that couples who learn new skills together, including parents Confidentiality satisfaction increased by 40%.

2. Design a Dream Savings Plan

Set a fixed time each month and write down three small goals to deposit into the "Dream Savings Bank". At the end of the year, we will open the package together to maintain the vitality of our relationship.

4. Maintain a moderate sense of mystery

1. Create a space for solitude

Set aside a few evenings each week to arrange interesting activities, and a brief separation can actually enhance attraction. Just like plants need seedlings, parents Close relationships also require breathing space.

2. Creating Unexpected Surprises

Occasionally stuffing a hand drawn comic in his briefcase, or suddenly inviting him to the milk tea shop he often goes to in high school. The brain is particularly sensitive to unconventional stimuli, and these small surprises can break the inertia numbness in marriage. The essence of preserving marriage is to provide nourishment for both individuals in their relationship. Instead of dwelling on how he became like this, it's better to think about how we can become better together. Those seemingly insignificant daily interactions are actually quietly writing your love program.