Marriage exists in name but cannot be separated? Someone who came over here told you the heart wrenching truth

Marriage is a besieged city, some people want to enter, some want to come out, and some are stuck in a dilemma at the city gate. As a relative The only thing left in a secret relationship is the tacit understanding of roommates. When the most common keywords in chat records are "um" and "okay", many couples suddenly realize that the most agonizing state of their relationship is not arguments, but the lack of even the desire to argue. Why does marriage fall into a vegetative state?

1. Emotional hypoxia syndrome

is like a plant that withers due to long-term lack of light, and a lack of emotional interaction in marriage can also lead to a state of suspended animation in relationships. It may start with a cold war after a heated argument, or a continued conflict in parenting philosophy. When both parties choose to use silence instead of communication, the relationship will feel like the pause button has been pressed.

2. Binding of economic symbiosis

jointly Mortgage, children's education fund, and elderly support payments from both parties Modern marriages often come with complex economic contracts. A survey shows that over 60% of couples consider divorce not because of emotional issues, but because of the potential decline in their quality of life caused by property division.

3. Social role inertia

Many people maintain their marriage just to continue playing the social roles of "good parents" and "good children". Especially in areas with strong traditional values, divorce is still seen as a stain on life, and this pressure can make couples choose to maintain surface harmony.

2. Three hidden harms of a marriage that exists in name only

1. Chronic emotional poisoning

People who are in low-quality marriages for a long time are prone to physical and mental problems such as sleep disorders and weakened immunity. Psychologically, it is called 'relational depression', just like living in smog every day, although it does not immediately cause it Life, but it will continue to erode health.

2. Emotional cognitive distortion

Children will unconsciously learn their parents' interaction patterns. If the family is shrouded in a cold and indifferent atmosphere for a long time, children may form a wrong perception that "marriage is just about making do", which will affect their future relatives Establish a confidential relationship.

3. Sinking opportunity cost

Spending time in a dead marriage is equivalent to giving up personal growth and other life possibilities. A 45 year old visitor once gave a bitter smile and said, "I am guarding the ruins of this marriage, like guarding a flower pot that will not sprout Is the exam over? Waiting for the mortgage to be paid off? Waiting for retirement savings to be sufficient? The reality is that there are new bonds at every stage. What really needs to be prepared is not economic conditions, but psychological resilience.

2. Divorce is not a failure, but a stop loss.

Just like when a stock falls to the stop loss line and needs to be sold decisively, ending a consumptive relationship is a brave act of self redemption. Those who regain a new life after divorce often regret not making a decision earlier. 3. Rebuilding life requires systematic planning, including but not limited to: economic independence plans, child custody plans, psychological adjustment methods, etc. Suggest consulting a professional marriage and family counselor to develop a personalized transition plan. Marriage is like a duet, when the dance steps are no longer in sync, it's better to gracefully bow off than to step on each other's feet and barely dance the whole scene. Whether choosing to repair or leave, it is important to remember that being honest with oneself is responsible for everyone. If you are currently at a crossroads in your marriage, why not ask yourself: In five years, will I be grateful or regretful for today's choice?