Marriage Defense War: 5 Cruel Emotional Truths Learned from Third Parties

When marriage encounters storms, we often point the finger at outsiders. But those seemingly destructive factors may be the mirror that reveals the loopholes in the relationship. Today we won't talk about moral criticism, only about those overlooked emotional warnings Indicator light.

1. Excitement The true appearance after the fading of emotions

1. Freshness trap

Extramarital relationships are often mistaken for the appearance of true love, but are just illusions created by dopamine. Long term relationships require oxytocin as a stabilizer, rather than constantly pursuing a faster heart rate.

2. Filter Break Moment

All relationships will eventually reach the stage of meeting without makeup. Attempting to escape monotony by changing objects is like constantly replacing the case of an old phone, and the core lag problem has never been solved.

3. The Cost of Comfort Zone

When marriage becomes a mechanical daily process and even arguments are too lazy, it is the most dangerous signal for a relationship. Silence is more destructive than conflict.

2. Unsatisfied core needs

1. Emotional account overdraft

Behind many acts of betrayal is long-term emotional neglect. Just like a person who has been hungry for a long time will pounce on breadcrumbs, a neglected heart is easily lost in cheap care.

2. Lack of Sense of Value

When a person continues to feel unwanted in marriage, they will instinctively search for a mirror that can prove their self-worth. This is not an excuse, but a psychological mechanism that requires vigilance.

3. Unfinished conversations

Those unspoken disappointments and emotions that are not caught will eventually become landmines in relationships. The third party often just happens to be standing at the blasting point.

3. Power imbalance in relationships

1. Rebound of giving personality

The party who has been excessively giving for a long time, when suddenly stops giving one day, is often criticized for "changing". In fact, he has finally exhausted all his energy.

2. Control and Counter Control

Checking phones and reporting whereabouts may seem like defending marriage, but in reality, it is a transfer of insecurity. True affection The secret requires breathing space.

3. Hidden dangers of economic dependence

When one party fully holds the dominant economic power, hidden currents often surge beneath the surface stable relationship. Economic independence is the foundation of emotional equality.

4. Projection of self avoidance

1. Mid life crisis Some people evade their age anxiety through extramarital affairs, essentially fighting against the threat of self-identity Machine. Placing youth on a young body is a dangerous compensatory behavior.

2. Unhealed childhood trauma

in family People who repeatedly search for their parents' shadows in secret relationships are destined to constantly encounter obstacles. Adult love requires partners rather than substitute parents.

3. False self presentation

When a person lives with a mask on throughout their marriage, they will eventually become exhausted. Reality may not be perfect, but at least it won't exhaust people.

V. Possibility of Relationship Restoration

1. Reconstruction on Ruins

A betrayed marriage is like a house after an earthquake, it may not be better to demolish and rebuild it than to reinforce and repair it. The key is to evaluate whether the foundation is still solid.

2. The risk of properly handling the transformation of shared trauma

An opportunity can become a turning point in a relationship, just like a bone fracture healing site becoming stronger than before. But this requires both parties' professional willingness to repair.

3. The Necessity of Self Integrity

Ultimately, we will understand that a healthy marriage is not two semicircles pieced together, but two complete circles overlapping each other. The missing parts of oneself can never be filled by others.

Marriage is in danger The machine is never a third-party monologue, but a physical examination report of the relationship itself. The truths that cause us pain may be the gateway to a new life. Every relationship requires regular antivirus upgrades, rather than waiting until the system crashes to regret it.