Even without divorce, there are always three! The selfish mentality of cheating men lies in these four points

When a marriage is betrayed, many people's first reaction is anger and confusion: why can someone maintain their family while seeking excitement outside of marriage? Behind this seemingly contradictory 'two ends' behavior, there are actually some hidden psychological motivations.

1. Actuarial thinking of vested interests

1. Practical value of family harbor

A stable family means social image, economic community, and emotional support. Some people are unwilling to give up these practical benefits, just like they wouldn't voluntarily cancel a permanently valid VIP card. They are well aware that divorce means dividing property and restructuring social relationships, and these costs are far higher than maintaining the status quo.

2. Addictive demand for freshness

The brain's reward mechanism for the craving for fresh stimuli can lead to a psychological dependence similar to "dessert addiction". When marriage enters a period of stagnation, some people may seek immediate satisfaction through extramarital relationships, but they do not want to bear the pain of withdrawing from their original life.

2. Cognitive dissonance of self deception

1. Excuses for rationalized behavior

"I should enjoy the benefits of earning money to support my family" and "My spouse is not considerate enough" are essentially psychological defenses to alleviate feelings of guilt. By devaluing the value of marriage or exaggerating one's own efforts, a twisted sense of fairness is created.

2. The drawer mentality of cutting emotions

is like storing files in categories, and some people can divide emotions into non interfering blocks. This psychological mechanism temporarily shields them from moral anxiety when switching between different relationships, but in the long run, it can lead to emotional numbness.

3. The desire to control power games

1. The obsession with dominant relationships

Simultaneously controlling multiple relationships can bring an illusory sense of superiority, and this illusion of "being needed" fills the value void of some people. Just like playing multiple saved games at the same time, enjoy the thrill of controlling the storyline at any time.

2. Avoiding the comfort zone of growth

Not divorcing or ending extramarital affairs is essentially refusing to truly face one's loved ones Problems in confidential relationships. This kind of wall riding state may seem easy, but it actually leads people into deeper growth stagnation, and ultimately may lose all sincere emotional connections.

4. Abnormal Balance of Risk Appetite

1. The gambling mentality of lucky mentality

is like knowing that smoking is harmful to health but continuing to smoke, some people are addicted to the stimulating feeling of "as long as they are careful enough, they will not be discovered". This type of risk calculation often overestimates one's own control and underestimates the destructive power of unexpected exposure.

2. The vicious cycle of emotional exhaustion

When a person is accustomed to using lies to maintain multiple relationships, they will gradually lose the ability to love sincerely. Just like a constantly inflated credit card, which appears shiny on the surface but is already heavily in debt, it will eventually face credit bankruptcy. Any healthy relationship requires sincerity and a sense of boundaries. If you are experiencing similar difficulties, you may want to stop and think: should you continue to consume yourself in a twisted relationship, or should you bravely face the problem and start over? True maturity is not about being able to adapt to different situations, but about being able to take full responsibility for one's own choices.