Don't let me kiss you The most comfortable state of interaction between people is 30% blank

Have you ever had such an experience? After spending 3 hours on Congee with my best friend, I suddenly felt my ears burning after hanging up; Being stuck with my partner for 24 hours, one day I found it awkward to even breathe the same air. The relationship between people is like a hedgehog warming up in winter, getting too close can hurt each other, and getting too far away can't feel the temperature. Why is 30% blank just right?

1. The brain needs a social buffer period

Neuroscience research shows that continuous social interaction keeps the amygdala of the brain active. Just like running too many programs in the background of a phone can make it hot, appropriate alone time can help the brain cool down and restart from social stress.

2. Emotions require fermentation space

Good wine requires aging, and emotions also need to settle. The feeling of longing that arises during a brief separation actually quietly enhances relationship satisfaction. The "intermittent reinforcement effect" in psychology proves that ambiguous relationships are more effective in maintaining emotional warmth than continuous satisfaction.

Two or three signals remind you to leave blank space.

1. The conversation repeats in a loop.

When your chat content starts to resemble a repeating machine, constantly repeating "Have you eaten?" and "What are you doing?", it indicates that the inventory of fresh topics is running out. At this time, forced chatting is like squeezing out toothpaste, which will only produce foam.

2. The body sends out protest signals.

Unexplained headaches, stiff shoulders and neck, and sore eyes may indicate that the body is protesting against social overload. Anthropologists have found that when personal space is continuously occupied, the body will produce a defensive response like a mimosa.

3. Small things can easily trigger irritability

The sound of the other person chewing cookies suddenly makes you clench your fists, which is often not a problem with the cookies. When the emotional water level rises, any ripple can turn into a raging storm.

III. Guidelines for Smart People's Blank Space Practice

1. Manufacturing Physical Isolation Belts

Reserve 30 minutes of "do not disturb time" every day, which can be soaking in a bath, taking a walk, or daydreaming. The key is to install temporary signal blockers on relationships, just like setting up mobile phone airplane mode.

2. Cultivate independent interests

Try to develop hobbies that the other person does not participate in at all, such as learning obscure instruments or studying astrology. These 'unique secrets' can keep you mysterious, just like installing a fresh air system for your relationship.

3. Establish a tacit code

Design your own "low battery" prompt, such as suddenly chatting about an old movie line, which means you need to temporarily exit the chat. This is much more elegant than simply saying 'don't bother me'. The healthiest relationship is like winter sunshine, warm but not scorching. The perfect amount of blank space is actually a space for each other to grow. Try to write down in your phone memo: Did you leave any blank space for your relationship today?