4 taboos that smart women understand to make them wholeheartedly devoted to you

In winter, while lounging on the sofa and scrolling through my phone, I suddenly saw a message from my best friend: "Why does he not cherish me as much as I treat him better?" The accompanying picture is a whimsical emoji. Is this scene very familiar? You may have stepped into these invisible minefields by desperately giving in emotions but not receiving a reciprocal response.

1. Overwork equals self depreciation

1. The trap of unconditional compromise

Get up early every day to make his favorite fried eggs, give up sisters parties to accompany him to work overtime, and even he plays games until midnight without complaining. This unilateral sacrifice will not bring gratitude, but rather make the other party feel that your efforts are taken for granted. There is a phenomenon in psychology called 'diminishing marginal utility', where even the most delicious fried egg can become greasy every day.

2. Maintain a sense of mystery.

Don't report your itinerary in detail, occasionally refuse a date to attend your interest class. When he discovers that besides being a "girlfriend", you are also a three-dimensional person who knows flower arrangement, photography, and has your own social circle, your attractiveness will actually increase exponentially.

Secondly, treat complaints as a means of communication Life injury

1. Side effects of emotional expression

"You never accompany me! Can we schedule a movie night for 'He' this week? Conveying the same needs, but the former makes people want to escape, while the latter makes people willing to cooperate. The accusatory sentence structure will put the other party into a defensive state, and they will not hear what you really want to express.

2. Nonviolent communication four step method

Describing facts without evaluation: "You worked overtime for three days until ten o'clock this week"; Expressing feelings rather than attacks: 'I feel a bit lonely'; Specific requirement: 'I hope to have a ten minute phone call before going to bed'; Propose feasible request: "Do you want to try tomorrow?"

3. 24-hour monitoring backfires

1. psychological motivation for job search behavior

requires shared location, sudden video job search, and checking social account login. These behaviors may seem insecure on the surface, but in reality, they are trying to use control to alleviate anxiety. But like tightly held sand, the tighter it is held, the faster it will flow away, and a healthy relationship requires breathing space.

2. Alternative to building trust

Use the time spent on job hunting to learn a new dish or complete a pending handmade project. When your life becomes fulfilling, the feeling of worrying about gains and losses will naturally fade away, and the other person will instead be attracted by your independent confidence.

4. Treat love as your entire life

1. The vicious cycle of emotional dependence

Giving up promotion opportunities only to cooperate with his city and distance himself from all others Sexual friends only choose the type they like when watching movies. This kind of all-round sacrifice will not make the relationship more stable, it will only gradually make you lose your voice in the relationship.

2. Build a diversified value pivot

Develop a career that brings a sense of achievement, maintain a happy social circle, and cultivate several hobbies that immerse oneself in it. When your sources of happiness are diverse, you won't bet all your emotions on one person, and your interaction state will be more relaxed and charming. Truly intelligent women understand that love is not a bittersweet scene and does not require a play by the Virgin Mary. Maintain self integrity while managing relationships, like two trees standing side by side in winter, with their roots growing separately but sharing the sunshine. Tonight, why not ask yourself: How much of the so-called 'giving' is genuine happiness, and how much is the fear of losing favor?